Publié le par Jamel BABA

Le Syndrome de « la réussite par procuration » : « Tu seras un champion, mon fils ! »

Informer > Articles > Psychologie du sport
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Bientôt le début d’une nouvelle saison de sport et le temps des inscriptions. Des espoirs aussi. Mon enfant sera un champion, c’est décidé !

pere-filsDe nombreuses stars sportives sont en réalité, de petites filles et de petits garçons prêts à tout pour gagner un peu d’amour parental. Dans le tennis féminin, la situation est particulièrement évidente : les sœurs Williams, Hingins, Capriati… Toutes ces stars ont été le jouet de l’ambition parentale. L’histoire de Tiger Woods (à suivre dans le prochain article) illustre le poids et l’impact du milieu familial dans la réussite d’une carrière. Dans la vie des champions, les parents jouent presque toujours un rôle essentiel. Cela provoque parfois des histoires tragiques !

Pour certains enfants et adolescents, la pratique sportive répond à la demande et à la volonté des parents. Selon certains auteurs, le Syndrome de « Réussite par Procuration » serait une variante du syndrome de Münchausen par procuration (mis en évidence par Meadow en 1977). Dans le syndrome « de Réussite par Procuration », les parents sur-investissent et sur-stimulent les talents et la réussite de leurs enfants dans le domaine sportif (il est aussi présent dans la musique, la réussite scolaire…) au point de conditionner l’amour parental aux succès et victoires de leur enfant. Cela conduit les parents à une attitude excessive dans le suivi de la pratique sportive et à faire passer au second plan l’épanouissement de l’enfant. L’entraînement intensif et la réussite sportive deviennent l’unique objectif de la cellule familiale et tout est asservi à ce but ultime !

C’est l’obligation de ne jamais décevoir.
Le développement de tout enfant s’inscrit dans la satisfaction du désir de ses parents qu’il admire et dont il veut être aimé. Cette dépendance affective, cette quête d’amour et de reconnaissance permet de tout accepter : la douleur, la souffrance des blessures, la fatigue, les entraînements à répétition…C’est l’obligation de ne jamais décevoir. Ce destin par procuration peut mener à la réussite mais il est plus souvent inducteur d’échecs et d’abandons. D’abandon, parce que certains arrêteront le sport en prenant conscience que ce choix n’est pas le leur mais celui d’un des parents, assujetti à des désirs et une histoire qui n’est pas la leur; D’échecs parce que le sport de haut niveau n’est que la consécration d’un nombre extrêmement restreint « d’heureux élus ». Cet arrêt de la pratique est culpabilisant parce qu’il peut marquer la perte de l’amour parental mais aussi le sentiment d’incompétence et d’indignité.

« A cet âge on regarde son père un peu comme un dieu ».
Père-filsDans un article intitulé « la gloire de mon père » et paru dans la revue Sport et Vie, Hors Serie N° 17, Frank Nicotra, ancien boxeur sacré Numéro 1 mondial en 1992, illustre parfaitement ce syndrome. Mis sur le ring dès l’âge de 9 ans, il semble avoir certaines aptitudes pour ce sport. Devant le regard de son père qui s’illumine dès qu’il monte sur le ring, Franck Nicotra se fait la promesse de ne jamais décevoir son père, même s’il s’est déjà rendu compte qu’il n’aimerait jamais la boxe. Il deviendra champion pour ne pas décevoir et être aimé de son père! « A cet âge on regarde son père un peu comme un dieu ». A 17 ans, les succès s’enchainent et le clan Nicotra ne vie que pour et par Franck. Chacun à un rôle et sa fonction autour de Franck. Mais c’est son père qui est omniprésent pendant toutes ces années. Franck Nicotra concède que la compagnie envahissante de ce père fut parfois très difficile à vivre: « C’était évidement quelque chose d’oppressant ». Mais la distance n’est pas possible. « Ca aurait été un peu comme une trahison. Parce que, sans lui, au fond, tout ça n’avait pas de sens. Tout seul, je n’avais pas envie de devenir champion du monde ». Difficile de poursuivre une carrière qui demande tant de sacrifices et d’abnégation lorsque vous n’êtes pas animé par la flamme de la passion. Et il quitte brusquement la boxe en 1993, un an après son sacre, et part loin du carcan familial.

Si ce syndrome semble évident dans la carrière de certains sportifs de haut niveau, il peut être présent à tout âge et quel que soit le niveau de l’enfant. Pour s’en convaincre, il suffit par exemple de regarder un match de football de benjamins le samedi après midi et l’attitude des parents, le plus souvent des pères. L’engouement dépasse souvent le stade de la passion et si ces pères sont tous virtuellement des entraîneurs, ils promulguent moultes conseils et directives à leur enfant, certains d’avoir un futur Zinédine Zidane comme enfant !

Alors attention, parce que les répercutions sur l’enfant peuvent être véritablement dramatiques. Revenons à l’essentiel : le sport est avant tout un jeu et ce qui doit animer tout sportif, la passion…du sport !

Références:
Grégory Michel : Prise de risque à l’adolescence: exemple de la pratique sportive et de l’usage de substances psycho-actives, Ed Masson, 2001
Sport et vie, Hors Série N° 17 : Psychologie du succès et de l’échec.

A suivre dans le prochain article : L’histoire d’un être condamné…à devenir champion ! « L’exemple de Tiger Woods ».

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